What is beauty

The more you have to deal with the inadequacies of your own body, the more you worry about what is really beautiful and what is not. Nowadays, there is hardly anything that a professional treatment cannot do for you. Amazing and frightening at the same time. Because all these possibilities presuppose an enormous responsibility. Primarily the self-responsibility of the patients towards themselves. In addition to that, the responsibility of the treating physician. Last but not least also the responsibility of the society towards the individual. The latter two should, ideally, have the benefit of the patient in mind and, if necessary, discourage them from taking an irreversible step without any hesitation.

Is it really an ideal case or rather an incident?

In Germany as well as in many other countries, there are clear conditions when I should be allowed to undergo surgery and when not. At least this is true for me as a trans person. Medical professionals refer to the legal situation and ask for a psychological assessment before they can start with their treatment. Instead of open and comprehensive enlightenment, I rather meet the delegation of responsibility to other areas.

Legislature writes this forward! The psychologist basically only confirms that you don’t act out of a whim. When everything is completed, you can come back to us.

Oh, and the psychologist knows, thanks to his psycho-glass ball that I’m serious about my surgery? Of course – in two or three sessions, they analyze me and my 38-year-old psyche from top to bottom, illuminating all the doubts about my transsexuality. Yes, this is so clear! So as one of my children had to go to the child psychologist, because it obviously had physical symptoms, which could not be diagnosed, then this child went into just such a practice for treatment. School medicine has failed, and the psychologist was supposed to make it. After a double-digit number of sessions, the therapist, along with her Latin and thus also the therapy, was at an end. Sorry, we were not smarter because of the psychological care. My child had no desire for therapy and therefore also barely had given any information about itself or anything else. Well, but if an adult goes to the psychologist, then probably it is another game. I do not know if I should laugh or cry. I think the success of psychology depends very much on whether the person treated has a special interest in participating or not. What is the meaning of psychological assessments made under law enforcement? 100 sense? 200 sense? 50 sense? No sense? Nonsense?

Let us summarize briefly, okay, I sum it up and you can just go ahead and read on relaxed. Forced psychological attestations do not make any sense! So what is the reason for the expert’s opinion? Chicane? Chimpanzee? Chicago? Oh Lord. Yes, you should not curse in the name of god. I had to translate the German meaning into English and I just wondered if the humor of the German language will translate so easily. Well. You’ve made it sweetheart.

Why would people do such a thing like a surgery at all?

Why do people voluntarily lay themselves under the knife? What did they do to get there? Did anything bad happen to them at all? Something that suggests the necessity of a surgery? How do these people think?

Well, I really do not want to step on anybodies shoes. Do I want to? Just maybe? Therefore, I only describe my personal view. So let’s recapitulate. I found my destiny one year ago, to live completely and totally open my life of a woman. Before that, I always found myself too thin, besides my bad teeth, a badly healed scar on the wrist, a badly operated abscess, my funnel breast, but otherwise I had no real pain points with my body. If there was not the realization that my male body has nothing to do with my femininity. If I had never found out that I am trans, then my life would have been so far in the best order. But – I hate sentences that start like this – but let’s just do it this way once without fear of a reprimand. But … as we all know now, I am trans. Crap. Could have run so well. So sorry it’s not!

So now I have these small things on my wishlist. Things like new super expensive breasts, super expensive laser body hair removal, super expensive laser facial hair removal, voice does not fit my appearance, list goes as long as possible to be honest.

Does the list have to be so long?

No, it simply is the case here! Longer lists are also possible. I’m moving around here on average. There should be some, there are much more things on them. So now we are building the bridge to the beginning. Attention! Watch out! What is beauty? I run through the city and I fall permanently into someones attention. Hmmm, am I about too tall for my high heeled shoes?

Are your hair real?

*touching my hair everywhere / haircut gets destroyed btw / argh*

Oh, they feel so genuine.

Girl, please let the paws of my hair! After all, we know each other for no more than 5 seconds. So hair extensions instead of wig for two thousand euros. Maybe you will not see any difference then.

These are not real breasts, right?

Eh, no! Excuse me, what does it matter to you? That should be none of your business! So go with the plastic man, let him do a true work of art for me. I think this can be abbreviated here. The list is the list. I think every woman has it, whether it is shorter or longer. Some of these things I will surely have a closer look at them one day. Then after all it should be all done and fine. It has to come to an end. What is beautiful and what is not, there are billions of views about it.


So see you soon again and lots of kisses from your Mycha!!!

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  1. If you are liked the way you are and you like to be of your own innermost feelings, it’s more than others have who can’t even accept themselves in parts. In our times the expectations of what beauty has to be and is impostered to anyone of us everyday changes so fast and so intense, that oneself can’t really catch up when there is no self acceptance and self respect. I am not flawless and that’s good. Every morning when doing my morning routine, I could put up a list of beauty flaws longer than a pilots checklist before start. But in the end I recognize, every single one of my flaws make up the special person I am, and hopefully not just for the moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Bernadette, thanks for sharing your story with us. What I wanted to point out is, that the feeling of beauty is coming from yourself. Noone is perfect. Even people looking perfect on their Instagram photos, or people on the cover of magazines are imperfect. Reality is to take a look behind the curtain of a cover. Satisfaction comes from acknowledgement and from your own motivation. I am happy for you that you found a way to feel more comfortable. Don’t care about expectations, and create your own beauty. Have a good night, Mycha

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Just a personal story. I bought lingerie for the first time in my adult life, thinking I would like to feel a little sexy for once. A sheer baby doll teddy and matching sheer robe, was what I chose. When the package arrived I was nervous and excited to try it on. It didn’t fit my body right. My blobs were too small to fit the cups and the proportions were off. I felt awful. Ugly. Weird. Uncomfortable. I felt stupid to have thought the teddy would make me feel sexier. I felt fake. To be honest, I felt sexier wearing my husband’s old t-shirts and a pair of short pj shorts with nothing on underneath. He thinks so too! Needless to say, I returned the teddy but kept the robe. I feel sexier when I comfortable and that feeling gives me confidence. I love that feeling and my husband loves it when I feel that way too!

    Liked by 1 person

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