Let’s talk about transition gaps
There are different kinds of people that you are gonna meet throughout your life. Some of them will accompany you for a short, and some for a longer time. You may run out of people around you (at least temporarily), if you have changed some aspects of your life, like I did recently. Actually there’s still a gap for me, that was opened by some friends of me, of whom I thought, they were really good friends to me. Some of these friends decided, to turn their backs to me, because of my transition.
So what you instinctively do – and I’m going through this at the moment, is that I’m looking for new friendships, that can take that place in my life. Also I’m looking around, if there is already someone on my contacts who would be a good fit. For friendships in particular – there’s not an online shop, where you can order some new items, and everything is fine. You can’t even leave a rating, nor can you recommend people to purchase their new friends from there, because you are so happy with those, that you got from there a couple of days ago. Reality is different, and it takes time. Accepting that fact, was like a little ‘you won that battle’ for me, at the same time asking myself ‘but do I want you, to win the war?’
Being on your own – a nightmare?
Honestly I have never belonged to these folks, who had thousands of friends gathered around me. It was always just a small set, that had my love, trust, and respect. Many times there have been noone around, who I could consider close enough for that definition. When going through these times, I was on my own. When you don’t fall down from that ‘on your own’ moments, you grow stronger.
Attraction as a starting point?
Gaining confidence, that you also can get along without any help. So was I. The funny fact is when you appear like that, you do find new friends quickly. It’s called attraction. Most people mind you, when you have any issues. But believe me, they admire you, for being so strong, even though never offering their support to you. But that’s okay, because of the time aspects, that real friendships need to develop over a period of time, and also experiences shared together.
Any fascination criteria?
What makes up my fascination for people, that I would consider as friends? Well of course not on our first interactions, but at least after a bunch of ups and downs, that we’ve been through together. These are common things, and similarities in our bios for example.
My life never was a highway! People who realized every single thing, they touched in their lives, without failing to do so, maybe they are not the best fit to me. I love complicated bios, and broken personalities. It’s like two magnets that attach to each other. When meeting such a person, I can feel that there’s more than the simple shape of that person.
You will loose people, when you leave society standard. So did I, and many other before me. This is not only specific to transgender folks. Accept that as a fact. You are gonna give up bigger parts of your life.
Stay strong, look forward, and go your way further persistently. That can be tough, and the road is long. And one day, when resignation is right in front of you, there may be someone. Awaiting your attention, and calling you for action. Don’t oversee these opportunities, and you’ll find people of your kind.
Stay strong, Mycha